From July of 2011 to May of 2012, I was on a weight loss journey that resulted in an 80lb fat loss. For most people that would mean I was happy and had accomplished something that every woman wants to, right? For me, that was not the case, In my mind I was still heavy. I was still 250 lbs. Even when the tag said size 8/10, I still felt like an 18/20 in my mind. Why wasn’t I celebrating this huge accomplishment? What was wrong with me?
Me at 170lbs
I started my weight loss journey in 2011 for all of the wrong reasons. At the age of 25, I was preparing to graduate with my bachelors in Business Marketing after just completing my degree in Fashion Design two years before. I wanted to “look” good in my graduation dress. I wanted to be a smaller size. So that was what I accomplished. I ‘looked’ good to everyone else, but I didn’t feel good inside. I went to the gym because I knew it was a part of the journey, a necessary evil to get what I thought I wanted. But back then, I didn’t realize that the body needed to be connected to my mind. I needed to love me first!
For my wedding last year, I was back at 250+ lbs. Of course, I tried to lose the weight and I even had to have my wedding dress taken out before my journey down the aisle. But you know what, my mental state has never been stronger. I feel more confident than I ever have. Why? I have spent more time exercising self-love. I have spent more time doing my make-up, nourishing my natural hair and loving myself from the inside out. Now I feel ready to begin the journey of actively loving myself. Eating more greens and maybe trying that spin class that appeared to be torture to me because I wasn’t mature enough to see the empowerment it creates for many people at the time.
Me at 275lbs
This time around, I am looking for a feeling, a mood that makes my days and nights productive and also makes look good in my designs. I also want to treat the lymphedema I contracted when my mother was pregnant with me. I don’t expect to unrealistically cut my favorite foods out of my life completely but I do expect to incorporate more of the healthy things I do enjoy eating like broccoli, spinach, fruits, and fish. My relationship with diets has always been an unhealthy one. As a creative, limitations are my kryptonite. I don’t like being told that I can’t have or do something. It really messes with me. It makes me extremely uncomfortable. So, I am focused on feeling my way to a healthier lifestyle.
I enjoy taking walks, so I plan on incorporating that into my lifestyle along with my token Zumba classes and…wait for it… WEIGHT LIFTING! I used to be so against it but I know that it will make me stronger and really improve on my joint health and core strength. Toning my body was NEVER something I thought was necessary, but it is! I am excited to start to create a routine for myself that includes weight training, fun cardio and feel good meals! I mean, I want to eat well and I don’t think that you should have to eat boiled chicken and wheat grass to look and feel good, right?
If you are on a “Feel Good Health Journey” too, comment below. I’d love to hear what you’re doing to stay on track. Let’s do this together!